This tea is awful. It’s fucking disgusting. Don’t believe that lazy shit idyllic pastoral landscape on the goddamn cardboard box. It’s a damn lie and if you drink this tea you’ll know the heart of minty darkness
Like OK I appreciate that it tries to prepare you for whats inside by a cute picture on the box. Fresh green mint leaves, and some candy cane sticks to get you in that shitty assfaced Christmas mood. Look it’s even tied with a repugnant little red bow. fuck this tea.
So if you open the box and immediately steep a cup prepare to get one of those cute lil candy canes up your FUCKING NOSE and in your FUCKING EYES because this shit doesn’t know personal space in the same way a demon from hell doesn’t know a loving God.
I hope you like drinking your throat lozenges because here’s a blistering stream an actual menthol golem would piss down your fucking throat while you gag on its candy-striped wiener.
So you lock this shit in a box for 3 months while you recover from the worst toothpaste-flavored blowjob of your life and maybe get yourself together again. You recover. You move on. Things are looking pretty up and you think back, well maybe that godforsaken tea didn’t really taste like a peppermint Siberia. So you make a cup like the foolish piece of shit you are
and you’re right, but so wrong about the character and nature of your mistake you might as well star in Greek tragedy. You pathetic bag of bollocks.
because in the months its been locked in a top-shelf tomb the life and vehement mint-based hatred for the physical world has withered and desiccated out of its soulless teabag husks.
Now what you have got in your fucking unfortunate mug is a hot steaming cup of fuck you that tastes like the inside of the birch tree on the fucking box, or maybe Santa’s tears mixed with mummy dust, or midwinter leaf litter a vaguely minty dog only rolled in once.
The aftertaste stinks of wax. Why wax? Because it wants to remind you that you’re the kid who ate birthday candles in first grade, that’s why. And every single other bad decision you now regret.
fuck this tea. fuck it, it tastes like a hollow mannequin of a tea, hot leaf swill unfit to fertilize even fake fucking flowers.Maybe you could tan leather in it. I don’t fucking know but get it away from me and the human race. Fucking shoot it at the moon where it belongs with all of the other celestial fucking seasonings. fuck
I never thought I’d reblog a tea review but here we are.
TPP is coming. Will you help save the Internet?
Mod: SIGNAL BOOST!!!
OH GOD ITS SOPA ALL OVER AGAIN
RATHER THAN JUST COMPLAIN ABOUT IT, LIKE I JUST DID IN A PREVIOUS POST OF MINE, I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THE TIME TO ASK EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU TO SIGNAL BOOST THIS POST ESPECIALLY….WE CANT JUST STAND IDLY BY AND WATCH TPP AND FASTRACKING TAKE WHAT SHOULD BE RIGHTFULLY OURS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
PLS. CLICK THE LINK ABOVE AND SIGN, OTHER WISE SIGNAL BOOST THIS LIKE WILDFIRE!!!
DONT BE PART OF THE PROBLEM , BE PART OF THE SOLUTION AND SIGN OR SIGNAL BOOST NOW
At first I was like “aww, that’s pretty cute” but then I realized Equis is holding down her feet because she’s doing sit-ups SO THEY’RE EXERCISING TOGETHER AND HE’S KISSING HER FOREHEAD AND OMG
So I was on omegle as John and this happened
just got told by my boss at work that it’s my fault for not being able to handle being screamed at and abused when i’m sick from malnutrition and exhausted and just generally broken
then got my shifts changed to one that will leave me with like 5 hours to sleep some…
Let’s see how many of y’all ready to show some SOLIDARITY…
This needs to be printed out in Grayscale and spread all over, trains, buses, cafes, grocery stores, theaters, college campuses, etc, etc
won’t be hard cause i’m broke looool